America's most over-valued real estate

I just love your carpets

2007-09-08T09:19:00.001-07:00

There were so many ugly photos of this Culver City wreck that I didn't quite know where to start. How about starting with the living room. What are those stains just above the window? Could it be mold?

Horrific is the only word that adequately describes the carpet. There is something really creepy about old rugs. They are so unhygenic. Just imagine all those sweaty fungus-filled feet that have tramped over that rag. It is so disgusting that I feel I need a bath just from looking at it.

What does the realtor have to say about this wreck? Lets put it this way; you can always rely on a realtor to say something insanely stupid. This wreak is described as "designer ready". However, the realtor did implicitly concede that there might be something wrong with the current floor covering arrangement. Apparently, there is "wood under the carpet". The realtor also suggests that there is a large yard. Based on the photo above, does anyone agree with that statement?

There is, however, no disagreement about the size of the price. The owner is doing his best to "big-it-up". This dog is on the market for a nasty $800k. Incidentally, that is almost a 100 times more than the house in Pennsylvannia, posted on the previous listing.

I couldn't finish the posting without including this photo. This room is obscenely ugly. Painting a wall dark blue and then putting down some brown carpet must rank as the dumbest home design decision out there.

Thanks to Cara for sending this one. The listing can be found here. There are any other nasty home design features out there. If there are, we need to see them.

More affordable housing

2007-09-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

It is not entirely clear which of these Reading (PA) houses are on sale. The price - a very reasonable $8k - suggest that it is the burnt out one on the left. However, the photo is centered on the grey one on the right. Moreover, the listing doesn't mention anything about fire damage. The mortgage on this place is just $42 a month. There are some restaurants in DC where a hamburger will cost you more than that.

Few days ago, a burnt out wreck from Baltimore was posted on this site. That property was listed for $120,000. Baltimore is a city I know well. There are some great people living there, but let us be frank; it isn't San Francisco or New York. It is very tough town. I am less familiar with Reading, but it is hard to believe that life there is 14 times worse than Baltimore. However, that is what is implied by the price differential between two cities.

Of course, realtors will shout out that the difference is location. However, inertia is a more likely explanation. It takes time for sufficient numbers of people to migrate from high cost to low cost cities. Nevertheless, it does happen, which suggests that Baltimore is massively overvalued, while Reading might make a better long term real estate investment.

Many thanks to Jay, who told me that I shouldn't mention that Pennsylvannia is a great place to live. Jay was afraid that everyone in California might sell up and move there. Sadly, that is something I cannot do. Pennsylvannia is one of my most favorite places in America. It is time to sell up and move.

Tear me down

2007-09-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

I thought we had reached the limit of teardown madness when I posted a $1 million wreck about a week ago. However, this beachside wreck pushes out the boundary by a further two million. It is listed for $3.3 million. There is one paradox that I can't resolve. How can anyone smart enough to accumulate at least $3 million of wealth be stupid enough to buy this house?

There is no such paradox in the realtor's mind. The write up advises prospective buyers to "drive by, stop and sit on the front steps and experience the incredible ocean ambiance and resort living". In contrast, I advise to drive by and just keep driving.

Many thanks to Bob for this one. Bob suggests that rather than an ocean view, this house is situated in front of a large parking lot that holds about a 1000 cars. The listing can be found here.

Affordable housing

2007-09-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

Here is a headline that grabs your attention "Cheaper than a car". This craigslist advert from New Orleans is offering a 3 bedroom house for $19k. Moreover, the house only needs a further $5-10k to fix it up. Compared to some million dollar slums in LA, DC and other overpriced bubbletowns, this house looks rather reasonable. So if you are finding it difficult making ends meet in California, sell the SUV, and move south.

Many thanks to "DHSEscort" for this one. If you know of any affordable housing, send it here

Million dollar bedroom

2007-09-08T09:11:00.001-07:00

The new owner of this $1 million dog from Rhode Island better be neat and tidy. There simply isn't any floorspace to pile dirty clothes. While the bedroom might be a little tight, you can console yourself with a sea view.

Marie, who sent in this one, suggested that she had seen more comfortable motel rooms. Personally, it reminded me of the old Soviet Intourist hotel room. If you are unfamiliar with an Intourist room, count yourself lucky.

Here is another oddity, the realtor calls this a "Victorian". The house was constructed in 1935. However, Queen Victoria died in January 1901.

Many thanks Marie for this one. The listing can be found here. Are there any other luxury bedrooms out there? If so, send them here.

Evil exists - it is called the condo conversion

2007-09-08T09:08:00.000-07:00

Crackhouses, garden sheds and shacks might be amusing, but condo conversions are evil. They are invariably overpriced and threaten to lure naive investors towards financial disaster.

Yesterday, I received an email from ARMMAT, who sent me details of a typical new development in Brentwood California, which is currently on craigslist. Prices range from the mid-400s up to the mid-800s.

The featured apartment is a particularly tasteless and unimaginative conversion. The kitchen has overdosed on granite; there is even some plastered onto the walls. Why have bay windows, when the view is of a wall? The bathroom had some uninspiring wall-to-wall tiling. The ad also goes very heavy on financing options; "We have in house financing and work with first time home buyers. We can get anybody financed."

That last sentence could be an epithet for this bubble. "We can get anybody financed". It doesn't matter the credit history, income levels, or financial IQ of the borrower, there is a financial institution out there ready to write the mortgage check.

ARMMAT took the initiative to send a quick email to the realtor, who goes by the name of Timothy Lo Bello. Here is the exchange, (without edits):

ARMMAT - Regarding your ad for the above property. At $530K and a 6.25% APR, we're looking at around $3270, 30yr fixed loan at best. Plus $552 for p.tax, and another $2-300 for insurance; grand total being around $4-4.1K per month...FOR A CONDO?

The boom is over...adjust the prices...anyone paying that much for a condo where they don't even own the land is an outright idiot. If they fall for such crookery, then they deserve to be stuck in a $4K payment.

Timothy LoBello - I agree. Were 100% sold out. Go and figure? We have 3 new projects on tap and most are pre-sold. enjoy

ARMMAT - Of course you are...I'd be rich for every single time a broker told me that one...Hurry up and buy! You'll miss out!

If in fact it were true, then there are even more idiots out there than I initially thought...I hope they can sustain their mortgages you put them in as their ARMs run out. Perhaps you're fit for American's Overvalued Real Estate Blog....might be worth the exposure.

The realtor says "Go and figure". I have gone and figured, and I reckon that purchasing this condo is financial madness. What I can not understand is why others can't figure it out as well.

Thanks to ARMMAT for the email and the recommendation. Have you had a similar surreal moment with a Realtor recently.

Movin' out

2007-09-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Imagine, just for a moment, living in a 500 sq ft condo just like this one in Boston. It is a a third floor atttic conversion in an unimpressive single family home, in an unremarkable neighborhood. What exactly would be your quality of life?

The center of the room is the only place that you can stand up straight. The kitchen is tiny. The bathroom is so narrow that you won't be able to wash under your arms. You would have nowhere to store your belongings. Moreover, you would be too embarrassed to invite anyone home. Ultimately, the only thing this condo offers is a life of misery.

If you are asking yourself whether you can afford this $145k condo, then you are asking yourself the wrong question. Instead, you should be asking whether it is time to move out of Boston and find a city where you can afford to live. There are plenty of cities in the mid-west where $144k would buy a respectable family home. Salaries may be higher in Boston than the mid-west, but the difference isn't that great. Contrary to what realtors say, it is not about "location, location location". Rather, it is about quality of life. Currently, many bubble cities just can't offer a decent affordable lifestyle for many Americans. Either the market corrects or it is time to move.

Thanks to Sarah for this recommendation. The listing can be found here.

Gentrifying Baltimore

2007-09-08T09:03:00.001-07:00

The realtor must have been sorely tempted to describe this Baltimore dog as a "hot property". Thankfully and tastefully, that temptation was resisted. This fire damaged house is currently listed for $120,000.

Back in the good old days, many houses in Baltimore looked very similar to this one. Along comes gentrification, and houses, which were ignored for decades, become suddenly viable again. Of course, it is great to see urban renewal, but what is really behind it? Have these neighborhoods really changed? Or have greedy gullible investors been duped into thinking that a sow's ear is actually a velvet glove?

So, what are we to make of the realtor's claim that this house is a "Great opportunity to invest in up & coming area!" Look very closely at this photo. In the bottom right hand corner, you will see written "no sitting on steps". Why would an owner feel the need to write that in front of their house? Gentrification is a troubling phenomena. Is it sustainable? Or are people being tricked by realtor hype into buying overpriced crackhouses?

Many thanks to "DC sports chick", who sent in this one. The listing can be found on zipreality.com.

Lets be nice for a change

2007-09-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

Recently, this blog has been plagued by realtor-types writing comments suggesting that I am way too negative. The blog is also accused of being homeowner-hating, and too pro-renter. In fact, I am a little surprised by the sudden realtor interest in this blog. For a long time, only bitter renters like myself were checking in and having a laugh at America's real estate wrecks. Previously, realtors were out on the streets cutting deals and had no time to be crusing the bubblesphere. Oh, how times have changed.

In response to the realtor onslaught, I will try to mend my ways. I am now going to try to be more positive and balanced about the houses posted on the blog. Here is my first attempt at being nice.

Here we have a beautiful 2 bedroomed single family home from Richmond (CA) listed for a very reasonable $410k. Selling features? Let us consult the great book of realtor cliches and see if anything might fit this property. We have a) handyman special, b) value in the land, c) location, location, location, d) fixer-upper, e) eat-in kitchen, f) beautiful paintwork, and g) fine landscaped garden. So who is ready to buy? What? No one? Why ever not?

Thanks to Joanne for this one. The listing can be found on realtor.com. I think I have a future writing reator write-ups, send me your most despicable wreck and I will try to find something positive about it.

Seen this one before?

2007-09-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

Has this wreck been on the blog before? It is so hard to tell. After a while, these dogs all start to look the same.

This particular 2 bedroomed PoS is situated in Culver City (CA), and it is listed for $740k. The realtor claims it has "tremendous potential". I have always been wary of that phrase. My teachers at school were always telling my parents that I had "tremendous potential". However, I was never entirely clear, what I had the potential for. I sense a similar problem with this property.

Thanks to Bob for this one. It can be found here. Are there any other wrecks with "tremendous potential" out there. Of course there are; there are way too many out there.

Boston shed - $680,000

2007-09-08T08:57:00.000-07:00

The following ad has just been posted on craigslist. It seems like a cry from the heart, so I will let the posting speak for itself:

$680000 - Wow.... 25 Square Feet ...... A real investment

You will be the talk of the town in this beautiful shed. 25 square feet of pure luxury....complete with new electrical service provided by a Honda Generator. No water bills...I have rigged the lovely sink/garden hose to feed off of the water fountain in the park across the street. Brand new stainless steel Hibachi providing great cooking and heat. Decorate your sleek TV tray countertops while the frigid Igloo cooler will keeps champagne perfectly chilled. Plush foam rubber adorns the hole in the floor that is the master bathroom. Central AC provided for free by the wind turbine at local 103.

Seem ridiculous? Well this is what most of the homes selling on CL appear like to the average buyer. The boom is over....adjust your prices.

Many thanks to "Big Rock" for alerting me to this one. Any other distressed shed owners out there?

Elegant eyesore

2007-09-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

This is a rare listing. The realtor decided to try out some honesty when describing the New Jersey property.

Elegant eyesore on a street of well-kept, stately traditional homes, this bank-owned capecod is embarrasing but a great opportunity. Solid brick walls on a lawn dotted by trees. Spacious floor plan with room for privacy and entertaining. With a little work, you'll be proud to own this home. NOTE: Possible soil contamination.

How often do you get realtors using the word "eyesore"? Basically, this is the crappiest house on the street, so don't book a visit unless you are prepared to have your neighbors look down on you as the local poor folks. Moreover, the realtor is implying that unless you renovate this wreck, you will be embarrassed to be here.

The reference to soil contamination was also rather refreshing. I wonder how the owners of all the other stately homes on the street feel about having a polluted wreck as a neighbor.

So who came out this gem? Say hello to Nancy Quigley. I wonder if Nancy is as brutally honest with all her listings. I have sneaky feeling that she might be.

Many thanks to "K" for this one. The listing can be found here. It is on the market for $204k. While this site specialises in dishonest and misleading realtor write-ups, we are happy to cater for the occasional honest one.

How small can small be?

2007-09-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it is the misleading perspective from the photo, but doesn't the garden shed on the right look larger than the property on the left? The weblisting doesn't help much. It contains no information about the actual size of the house. However, it is probably well south of 400 square feet.

There is another photo on the weblisting which strongly implies that this property is in someone's backgarden. There is a much larger building to the left, which has been cropped from this photo. Therefore, we are on fairly safe grounds when we assume that this is some kind of garden shed conversion.

This photo is really showing "old shed, new shed". Walk with me on this one; if a old garden shed can be converted into a house and replaced with new shed, then perhaps, this new shed can also be converted into a house, and in turn replaced with a new shed. But why stop there, why not convert that one as well. Soon, you could have a garden full of conversions.

The economic incentive for this explosive growth of garden shed conversions is certainly there. Since the shed on the left (the white one) is listed on the market for $729k, it must a highly profitable to go down to the garden supplies store and buy a new shed, put it in your garden and sell it for a similar amount.

You are dying to ask; so where is this property? Well, it is located in Northport, Long Island. Before you rush down to the realtor and ask for a showing, please remember that property taxes are rather high in Long Island. The local authorities are asking for $3,106.96 a year. Moreover, there is a village tax of $967.68 per year.

Finally, does anyone know where do the stairs behind the house lead? It is tempting to suggest that they lead to the upstairs bedrooms. But that can't be right......or can it?

Many thanks to Roocat for yet another excellent wreck. The listing can be found here.

Rat race

2007-09-08T08:50:00.001-07:00

Rather than living by the water, this property will allow you to live on the water. Located on Lake Union, Seattle, this barge is on the market for $187k. With docking fees costing at least $500 a month, don't think that this wreck offers an opportunity to float away from the financial burdens of homeownership. I wonder if you have to pay property taxes on barges?

What is the life expectancy of a barge? Ten years? Twenty at the most? It could well be that this barge will float to the bottom of the lake well before the 30 year mortgage is paid off. An interest only loan would be even more fun. The asset would disappear, leaving the owner with just pure debt and a bank with no collateral to seize in the event of default.

Here is a question for people living off Lake Union. Is the lake a happy habitat for rats? Around DC, those mobile disease-bags love to waterside views just as much as humans. I can't imagine that it is any different over in Seattle. Will this barge act like a rodent-attractor? That sounds real healthy. Overall, a barge would be a great place to bring up kids.

Many thanks to Katie for this one. The listing can be found here.

Lucy Jordan

2007-09-08T08:48:00.001-07:00

Does anyone remember "the ballad of Lucy Jordan?" It was an old Dr. Hook song that recounted the life of a housewife, who one day wakes up and realises that she is trapped in the suburbs. The song goes on to explain that since the option of an international jetsetter was no longer available, she decided to climb onto the roof of her suburban hellhole and end it all by jumping off.

Personally, I always imagined that Lucy lived somewhere like this anonymous $1.2 million San Diego box. If Lucy were alive today, she would also have to contend with crippling mortgage payments, as well as the misery of daily life as a domestic drudge.

Many thanks to Ford Prefect for this one. The listing can be found here.

Say something good.

2007-09-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

My dear grandmother always said "if you can't say something good, then say nothing at all". Personally, it was never advice that I followed, but I suspect that the realtor for this property heard something similar from their grandmother.

Since there is nothing inside this property that could possibly make it easier to sell, the realtor decided to take just one photo and keep the details to a bare minimum. There are no granite countertops, new paint or hardwood floors. It is just a plain vanilla wreck. So the commetns are limited to "single family home on a 0.09 acre site." And yes, the realtor did mention one other thing; it is on the market for $420k.

Many thanks to Scott for this one. The listing can be found here. See anything similar in your neighborhood?

The communists are back...

2007-09-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

The economic success of America rested on one simple premise; if you worked hard, took risks and made good investment decisions, then you became rich and lived in a big nice house; if you were lazy, risk-averse and made bad decisions, you were poor and you lived in a house like this one here.

The housing bubble has overturned that simple formula. Today, poor people sell 2 bedroomed, 600 sq. ft. shacks, like this one from Newport (CA), to rich folks for $1,150,000. In the process, the underlying incentives to succeed in America are being undermined by massive wealth redistribution from the rich to the poor.

Ultimately, the housing bubble is communism in a modern form. It threatens to turn rich folks into poor people. While the poor may have more cash, they will undoubtedly find ways to spend that money so that they become poor again. Who benefits from this new regime? A narrow elite, known as the realtors. Here is a question open to debate; is the NAR the new Communist Party?

Senator McCarthy once wisely said that "Communism is unamerican". If he were alive today, he would undoubtedly recognise that this housing bubble is also unamerican.

Thanks to Kane for a second excellent recommendation. The listing can be found here. If you see any other communistic unamerican listings, send them here

Disappointment

2007-09-06T09:10:00.000-07:00

Why is this housing bubble so depressing? It is what you DONT get for your money. Here is a crappy little wreck from San Mateo. It is on the market for $1.2 million. With that amount of money, you can't get more than four bedrooms, two bathrooms or even buy a decently watered lawn.

Why is this house listed for so much? It must be neighborhood envy "Well, the 6 bedroomed house down the street went for $2 million, therefore my house must be worth at least $1.2 million". There is only one answer to this problem - a buyer's strike. If no one buys any houses, then prices will come down.

So if you are out there looking for a home at the moment, just stop looking. Wait. Things are going to get better. Prices are already falling in many markets. Soon, it will turn into a collapse. In the meantime, sit back, read the overvalued blog and enjoy.

Grateful thanks to John for this one. The listing can be found here.

Bonus room

2007-09-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

The realtor describes this Santa Ana (CA) house as being in a "great neighborhood". If so, why are there bars on the windows. Is it to keep people in or to keep them out? Neither option is particularly appealing.

The realtor also tells us that the current owner has found another house and has said "get it sold". The owner has already cut the price twice. It was originally listed at $590k; it is now down to $565k. That smacks of desperation.

However, it isn't all bad. The house has a "bonus room". Yes, there is a bonus with this one and here it is:

Nevertheless, there must be a worry that the current owner has just cleared out the garage, painted the interior and called it a room conversion. The pile of old tires and rubbish does look suspicious. To be fair, the realtor is hedging their bets. The write-up actually describes this room as a garage-bonus room. Ultimately, it will be up to the new owner to decide this question.

The listing can be found here. This wreck was sent in by ocrenter, who contributes to a great blog called bubble tracker. It is well worth a read and a bookmark. Thanks OC. Is there anything similar out there. Of course, I know that the answer is yes. When you see it, let the rest of us know about it.

Recreational Vehicle conversions

2007-09-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love this house. It is a recreational vehicle converted into a beautiful little cottage. What is more, it is Orange County. A great location for just $200k.

The property is listed on craigslist. However, the owner wasn't giving too much away in terms of amenities. He simply described it as a "great starter home".

However, what would the new owner start when they buy this home? Presumably, it is a life on a trailer park. It is easy to start in such a place; it is desperately difficult to end up somewhere else. Alternatively, the new owner could start being the one in ten American's currently holding negative equity. Buy it for $200k today and within a year, it will be worth $20k. Ultimately, this property offers a lifetime of trailer park living, and being upside-down with a mortgage that you can't afford.

This raises another question. Suppose the future owner did default on the debt, would the bank actually foreclose? A year from now, the foreclosure value of this dog would hardly cover the legal fees.

I found this one myself. Trailer park realtor is always good value for money, at least as far as this blog is concerned.

The League of Excellence

2007-09-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

This blog has been slumming it recently. It is time to get back to million dollar wrecks. Here is a two bedroom dog from Santa Monica. It is currently listed for $1.7 million.

The realtor claims that this property is a "architectural jewel". Washington DC may have the White House, and Paris has the Eiffel Tower; however Santa Monica has 287 Amalfi Drive.

The realtor also points out that the yard has "room for a pool". Why did the realtor stop there? Why didn't they mention the potential for a helicopter pad, underground bunker or an independent missile defense system?

So who was responsible for this ridiculous write-up? The realtor.com website pointed to Mary Beth Woods. I kept clicking and found her website and here she is:

According to her site, Mary Beth is has been "honored" with membership of the "Society of Excellence". I was feeling pretty good about myself. So I wondered whether I could join this Society. I googled it and found nothing. Therefore, it must be some kind of secret society just for realtors.

What, exactly does the Society of Excellence get up to? I just hope that it isn't one of those strange groups that meet in secret locations, wear weird costumes and form circles and burn things. Suddenly a vision entered my mind. After a difficult week at the office, the realtors gather in the woods, put on the hoods, and burn an effigy of a buyer, while chanting "You will buy; you will buy, you will buy........"

Why do realtors get to have all these neat groups? That is not fair. Why can't I join? So I've decided to set up my own. It is called the "League of Excellence". Anyone can join the league; there are no membership fees; just read this blog regularly and you are automatically a member. However, here are a couple of quick ground-rules; no hoods, no fires and no meetings after 6pm.

Lets get back to Mary. She can now add one more title to her achievement-heavy resume - she is now in the overvalued realtor hall of fame. The League of Excellence sends her the warmest congratulations to her after reaching the pinnacle of her profession. It doesn't get any better than the overvalued hall of fame.

Grateful thanks to Cliff for this one. The listing can be found here. Today, we are looking for silly societies for realtors. If you know of any, send them here.

Fancy a vacation?

2007-09-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

This unremarkable 3 bedroom house in Falls Church, Virginia is listed on Craigslist for $510k. Like so much property, it is massively overvalued. Nevertheless, it would not merit a posting, were it not for the somewhat unusual incentive offered by the realtor.

The realtor is offering a one week holiday at an RCI resort, provided the sale is completed before June. Before you start digging into you back pocket for your check book, the realtor tagged on those infamous words "terms and conditions apply". It is one of those offers that states that travel is permitted only the 31st of any month beginning with the letter "j", providing it doesn't end with the letter "y".

Before you even think of vacation, sober up with a fifteen minute scan of the bubblemeter. Prices are tumbling in Northern Virginia. The market peaked last summer and for the foreseeable future, it is heading in just one direction.

Here is some free advice. First, don't buy any real estate until you are confident that prices won't tumble. In practice, that could be years away. Second, if you do feel the temptation to buy. Keep the transaction as simple as possible. Avoid incentives. If you want a vacation, find something on the web, and pay for it with your credit card. While it is debatable whether Realtors are good for anything, it is fairly obvious that they don't make good travel agents.

I found this one myself while surfing during office hours. Got to get back to work now. If you see any other daft money losing realtor incentives, send them here.

Granite guzzler

2007-09-06T08:58:00.001-07:00

Many owners think granite countertops is like a real estate steriod. Just install the specky stone into the kitchen and a wreck is transformed from a seven stone weakling into oily skinned 14 stone gym poser. That kind of thinking might have worked a year ago. Today, granite is yesterday’s thing. In 2006, price is the only thing that moves houses.

This house boasts the usual granite tops, stucco and hardwood floors, but so what. Despite the enhancements, the house is ugly, isolated and small. Who wants to spend $695k just to live beside a Toyota dealship called the Toyotathon?

As always, the realtor write-up contains the a couple of mysterious comments. The appraiser thought that this house was worth $750k. Really! So why has the owner dropped the price by $55k? Could the appraiser really be that far out? This raises two difficult but inter-related questions. Do appraisal valuations have any meaningful connection to market prices? Or are appraisals driven by the need to obtain over-inflated mortgages?

The realtor also promises a large 234 sq. ft. unpermitted bonus room. What does that mean? Does the room exist but the authorities don't know about it?

Thanks to Katharina. This one can be found on ziprealty. If there are any other granite enhanced wrecks out there, this blog stands ready to expose them.

A shaggy dog on ebay

2007-09-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

This duplex is the our first wreck from an ebay auction. Located in Mt. Washington area of the Hollywood Hills section of Los Angeles, the owner has it listed for $815k. The owner also claims that all serious offers will be considered. Well, I seriously think that this wreck is worth just $500,000. Do you think that the owner will consider that offer? Not at the moment, then just give it some time.

The owners also say that they "are not kidding about that price". They "need to sell" because they are relocating to Connecticut and that "their loss is your gain!" However, the reverse is more likely; if you buy this wreck, your loss will be their gain.

The listing has no fewer than four, seemingly irrelevant, photos of a family dog. There is no suggestion in the advert that the dog thrown in with the house sale. It must be safe to assume that the owner sending the rather unsubtle message that "we are nice people, we love dogs, so please help us out by taking this wreck off our hands". Charity certainly begins at home. However, that charity will start in my home and not in some rancid wreck in L.A currently housing some desperate dog loving wannabe New Englanders.

Changing the subject, does anyone think that the house looks a little lopsided; like it is about to slip into a gorge or down a mountainside? That might explain the sudden desire to move eastwards. LA is certainly a wonderful city, but let us be honest. The ground over there does have the unnerving tendency to move suddenly every now and then.

Thanks to Douglas for this one. It will be listed on ebay for another 8 or so days. However, I am sure that these dogs, both the four legged kind and the one painted blue, will continue to appear on various west coast realtor sites for some time to come. The ebay item number is 4451057464.

First Canadian enters the overvalued hall of fame

2007-09-06T08:52:00.000-07:00

Say hello to Lynn Gourley, the first Canadian to enter the Pantheon of realtors - the overvalued hall of fame. Why is she there, you ask? Well, Lynn is the realtor responsible for listing this $50k wonder:

This would seem a case of "what you see is what you get", but Lynn, always the professional, digs deep into the realtor book of selling cliches. This is what she came up with.

"Your chance to own one of the 1000 Islands! Pitch a tent, swim, picnic, hunt, fish, beach your boat. Located near western entrance to International Rift & close to Ivy Lea area marinas. Great views of surrounding islands."

Hunt? Can anyone see any bears on the island? Pitch a tent? Where? Swim in a lake in Canada? Aren't those lakes a little cold, even in summer? Picnic? If an average person were to lie down on this island their feet and hair would be wet at the same time.

Thanks to Walker for this one. The listing can be found here. Lynn has her own website. She is the realtor to choose, when you need to sell rocks, bushes and massively overvalued tiny islands in the middle of nowhere.

Today is Canada day at the overvalued blog. Send anything Canadian here, and we might post it.

Need a roof over your head?

2007-09-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

When a realtor says that a house needs "tender loving care" then you know you are looking at something really nasty. This Dania (FL) house lacks an effective roof. In fact, the current owner is currently installing one.

Realtors sometimes say the strangest things. The write up suggests that the value is in the land rather than the building. Then why is the landlord putting on a new roof? Is he putting it up so that the new owner can just knock down?

According to this write-up the tax assessment is incorrect, implying that the plot is bigger than what is recorded at city hall. As good citizens, shouldn't they get down there as soon as possible and let them know that the current owner might not be paying as much tax as he should be?

And how much is the owner asking for? $340k. What? How much? Why? Is the owner mad, bad or medicated?

So many questions, but few answers........

Thanks to Sandy for this one. The listing can be found on realtor.com.

Say hello to the Canadian real estate bubble

2007-09-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

Good news. America is not the only country suffering from bubblefever. Our good friends north of the border have also caught the virus. Here is a wonderful "two-up, two-down" from Vancouver.

The property currently holds a tenant, or as the Canadian realtor writes - "a tanant". It seems that Canadian realtors have the same spelling difficulties as their more southerly counterparts. Apparently, the tenant (tanant) is also "very nice". The realtor said nothing about the character of the current owner. However, the picture says quite a bit about his moral standing.

The realtor also tells us that the property is "neat and clean". Unfortunately, the photo suggests otherwise. That matress is certainly full of bugs and other unmentionable Canadian creepy-crawlies. Those blue bags and other sundry rubbish items would be better placed in the municipal rubbish tip rather than the garden.

It is on the market for $468k. Those are Canadian not American dollars. Aren't our dollars worth more than their dollars? Does that mean that our dollar is better? Or am I suffering from money illusion? Are there any economists out there that would like to take up those questions. In any event, this property is overvalued in any currency.

My grateful thanks to Tom for this one. The property can be found here. If there are any other horrible houses that our Canadian brothers and sisters would like to share with us, this blog is happy to oblige.

Update on the great wall of Las Vegas

2007-09-06T08:45:00.001-07:00

It is not a good idea to post a property twice. Just appearing on this blog once gives these wrecks way too much attention. However, here are two further photos of the yesterday's wreck from Las Vegas.

Yesterday's posting raised a troubling question. Why did the realtor use a photo of the back wall, rather than one of the front of the house. Well, William's photos provide a partial answer. The front of the house does look rather rough. The pavillion that covers the sidewalk looks ready to collapse, while the windows are rather small and unlikely to let in much sunlight. Well, let us be positive; at least we can confirm that the property has some. That was in doubt yesterday.

The neighbourhood definitely has that post-industrialization chic. In other cities, it prompted some to convert old warehouses into massive condos that couldn't be properly heated in winter and couldn't be cooled in summer. It it not to my taste, but perhaps there is someone out there who might be interested.

Thanks to William for finding these two photos.

The Great Wall of Las Vegas

2007-09-06T08:44:00.001-07:00

"Gee, I love the location, but I just wish this house had a door and some windows"

You have to think that there is at least one aperture, perhaps on the sides of the building. However, the realtor write-up gives nothing away on this point. There are three bedrooms, tiled floors and a $265,000 price tag, but no mention of any windows.

Nevertheless, let us assume that the house has an entrance and some windows. Then why take a picture of the wall? Two theories immediately come to mind. First, that this wall is the most attractive feature of the house. Second, that when the realtor took the photo, they was puffing on one of those wacky tobacco cigarettes that are common in the western part of the country.

However, this raises some difficult questions about managerial accountability back at the office. What was the Senior Vice President for offfice management doing when this was planted on the desk? "Oh I see you took a very nice photo of the Clark residence. I'm very pleased that you captured the bush and the toilet ventilation system. Buyers are very interested in those features. The wasteland also gives the picture a very strong foreground. However, I assume it wasn't possible, from an artistic perspective, to give the buyer any vision of how they might actually enter the house? Thought not, and yes thank you, I would like one of those home-made cigarettes".

Thanks to "info" who sent this photo and the listing. It can be found on realtor.com, with an MLS listing of 590014.

Be a loser in the Hamptons.

2007-09-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

It the status conscious Hamptons, this wreck won't get you too many invitations to dinner. You neighbors will think you a fool for spending almost a $1 million on a house that previously used to accommodate the servants.

Once your friends hear that you have a vacation home in the Hamptons, you will be under a lot of pressure to invite them for the weekend. However, imagine their reaction when you greet them on the doorstep of this PoS. Their disappointment will be palpable, when you show them into the living room and ask them to help pull out the sofa bed. On Sunday evening, they will leave the Hamptons thinking that you are financially naive. 'What were they thinking when they bought that wreck? They paid how much? Almost a million!". Rather, it will be your so-called friends that will be dining out on stories about your idiot investment up in the Hamptons.

Our thanks goes out to Edward, who sent this wreck in some time ago. However, I sat on it for a couple of weeks. It was originally listed on Corcoran Real estate with a listing number of 44087.

Recently, I noticed that the listing has disappeared, suggesting that either the realtor has relisted it, or that someone has actually bought it. So maybe this posting has come too late to save this fool from the humilation of owning this wreck in the Hamptons. Personally, I am going to take this posting as a learning experience. Don't sit on emails, otherwise, people might go out and actually buy some of this rubbish.

Stairway to heaven

2007-09-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

The realtor's choice of photo says a lot about a property. A photo of door and the stairway to another apartment was the best that the realtor could do. With a photo like this one, you just know that this has got to be a classic PoS.

Desperate to find something positive to say about this one bedroom LA apartment, the realtor claims that the "courtyard has lots of greenery and flowers." Well, here is the courtyard.....

I just love the flag; everything else looks like potted plants and peeling paintwork.

Desperation did not just infect the realtor. The owner is also in a rather distressed state of mind. The property has been on the market just seven days. Already, he has reduced the price one.

He may need to be much more aggressive on pricing if he is going to dump this wreck. Why would anyone buy it for $345k when they can rent it for $1,100 per month? The mortgage alone will cost $2,200 while taxes are $190 per month. Then there are condo fees, repairs and insurance on top of that. Like so many of today's listings, the valuation for this PoS just does not make financial sense.

Thanks Mike for this listing. It can be found on zipreality.com.

Garden shed

2007-09-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

Occasionally, nasty overpriced wrecks are described as "garden sheds". However, this particularly disgraceful Seattle listing might actually have started its life as a storage facility for horticultural implements. One suspects that if the photographer had turned his camera 180 degrees, he would have gazed upon a typical family home.

And who can blame the current owner of this garden shed. Just install two windows, a door and some inside partition walls, and quicker than you can call a local realtor and say "reasonably priced starter home", he has a $375k property on the market. That is the sad reality when a city suffers from a bubble; sheds become houses, crack houses become single family homes, and beach huts become seaside mansions.

The realtor write-up claims that the property has a formal dining room. This conjures up images of elegant ladies in ballgowns and kindly old gentlemen in dinner jackets waiting for the butler to ring the bell to announce that dinner is served. However, this happy vista of refined living sits somewhat incongruously with the rickety old roof and dilapidated screen door hanging off its hinges.

This gem was nominated by Timothy, who runs a great blog looking at the insanity of the Seattle housing market. You are encouraged, nay required to check it out. It can be found here. As for the property, the non-believers can find it here. Converted Garden sheds are always a source of great alarm for the readers of this blog. However, we don't avert our eyes when confronted with such horrors.

What would the Queen say?

2007-09-06T08:35:00.001-07:00

In the past, We have posted some butt-ugly real estate on this blog. However, this wreck is right up there with the worst of them. First, let us start with facts. First, it is on the market for $200k. Second, it is in LA, which explains quite a lot. Third, it is just 299 sq. ft. Fourth, it has a bath, but we're not sure about a toilet. Finally, the plot is just 0.12 acres.

The craigslist ad describe it as a "studio home". However, the realtor.com listing went with "single family home". That, my friends, is a mockery of the Queen's English. A single family home? Please tell me that there is a law somewhere in California that prevents people from bringing up children in houses less than 300 sq. ft.

There are always the skeptics out there, who say "it is not about the house, it's the land value". This time, we have the answer to that feeble excuse. Just go to assessormap.co.la.ca.us and put in the address. Look what comes out:

For tax purposes, the land is valued at just over $4.5k. From here we can go two ways. Either we can assume that Californian tax authorities are just stupid and can't properly assess taxes. Or, the current owner, along with his realtor, have grossly overvalued this property. I know which way I am going.

Many thanks to "ThereMIwhereRU", who sent this one in. Somehow, I don't think that is your real name. Whatever your name might be, we are grateful.

Idle realtor nominated to the overvalued hall of fame.

2007-09-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

Here is a somewhat unremarkable wreck from New Jersey. It is on the market for a highly remarkable $1,850,000. What is the realtor commission on that sale? Well, it is over $111,000. So how much effort do you think the realtor put into the write up for this PoS. Here it is, with nothing added or taken away...

"Single Family Property, Area: Brigantine City, County: Atlantic County"

Where is the exaggeration? Where are the lies and misleading sales hype that we have come to love from our nation's realtors. Just nine words? Each of them costing over $12,000 each. I have never seen such idleness from a realtor.

Readers, it is name and shame time. Who is the realtor responsible for this derisory write-up? Here she is, Marie LePera. So come on, Maria. Take the hat off and start scribbling a serious write up.

It is worth checking out Maria's website. Here are some of her recent awards: Circle of Excellence: Platinum Award - 2005, Gold Award - 2003- 2004: Silver - 2002 (NJAR)Prudential Sales Award: Top of the Rock - Diamond 2005; Gold 2003 - 2004; Realtor of the Year, 1999 - ACCBOR. Maria, you can add one more, you are in the overvalued realtor hall of fame.

Changing the subject just slightly and moving onto more metaphysical matters. Maria claims on her website that "Heaven is a little closer in a home by the sea". That makes a change from the more usual assertions about the location of God and his promise of eternal salvation. Recently I told my 4-year-old daughter that heaven was "up in the sky". Previously, I told her that it was in "her heart". She found that completely unconvincing.

Thanks Eric for this one. The listing can be found here.

Watch out! Dog on the premises.

2007-09-06T08:29:00.001-07:00

The realtor write up suggests that this property is a "golden opportunity for your builders & architects to make a statement!". Presumably, the first statement will be "tear this PoS down".

Currently, the property has some tenants. But don't worry, the realtor assures us. The tenants are on "month-to-month"contracts. So the new owners can bring some additional misery into the world by turfing a couple of their fellow citizens onto the street. What is more, it will only cost them $850k.

However, the realtor also warns us that the tenants should not be disturbed. They have a dog. Is it wishing too much to think that this dog might be one of those big nasty rotweillers? Hopefully, it is slavishly obedient to its master and it will tear the throat out of anyone stupid enough to buy this wreck and make their owner homeless.

Thanks Eric for this one. Eric is a first time contributor who thought that this wreak might be a little dull. On the contrary, it was an excellent suggestion. For those who would like to see more, the property can be found here.

Waterworld

2007-09-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

The current owner justifies the $779k price tag by claiming that this wreck has an ocean view. Therefore, the first task for the new owner of this versatile garage-mobile home will be to chop down one of the two palm trees, that is currently blocking the window. Too bad, I thought that the trees were the most attractive feature. However, in the mad world of realtor valuation water wins over nature everytime.

This house was originally listed for $879k. However, it didn't shift and the owner cut the price by a hefty $100k. Why not go all the way and cut out the first digit. If this wreck were listed for $79k it would still look overvalued.

Thanks Roy for another great suggestion. The property can be found on realtor.com. Mobile homes are always welcome here.

Dust bowl

2007-09-06T08:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, an overvalued wreck has an almost indefinable quality about it. Take this Watsonville (CA) house as an example. What is it that makes this house so unattractive?

Could it be the thin layer of dust that envelopes the house? Or is the bars on the windows? After all security is important, it is should be gratifying to know that the current owner has taken the issue seriously. Or is it the highway in front of the house, and the ceaseless noise of traffic. Perhaps, it is the neighborhood. Being surrounded by a coterie of similarly awful houses might be enough to push a house into the PoS category.

Whatever it might be, this wreck certainly has it all. Perhaps it has more, we know little about the condition of the house inside. Is it worth almost $700k? Absolutely not.

Thanks Glen for sending this one into us. The listing can be found on realtor.com.

The King of Crap

2007-09-06T08:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a property that should have been included on this blog a long time ago. It first appeared on the Marinite PoS website, where it won the less-than-prestigious Golden Turd award. The award goes to the nastiest real estate in Marin County.

This one bedroom, one bathroom property was priced at a tadge below $500k. The Marinite blog readers weren't very complementary. One reader described it as:

"The tar paper roof. The tin smoke stack, the plywood deck, and the foreground wall looks like it is made from fencing. This thing looks like some poor sod went to the local hardware store or scrounged up some stuff and built his own domicile on some land he had. And for something like that you have to pay nearly a half of a million dollars! Unbelievable! Do people not see how insane this is?"

However, the realtor was more circumscribed with their description. They said that the property was: "Affordable opportunity. Fixer upper. As is sale."

Many thanks to the Marinite blog for nominating this wreck. Please check the blog out. It is one of the best around. There is also a sister blog, which is well worth a look.

Wasteland

2007-09-06T08:22:00.000-07:00

This Seattle wreck was built between the gap left by two larger houses. It is a nasty one bedroom, one bathroom house in one of the nicer neighborhoods of Seattle.

While realtors might chant "location", the rest of us know that people can be extremely cruel. Status matters in America, and no one wants to live on the worst house in the neighborhood. Living in the smallest nastiest house on the street is just not very ego-enhancing. The current owner of this wreck must feel a terrible inferiority complex when he meets his more comfortable neighbors.

So we all can understand why he wants to sell it. However, our sympathy has its limits. We won't feel quite so sorry him once we realise that he is trying to offload this wreck for $260,000.

According to the realtor write up, the owner almost sold it to a first time buyer a few weeks ago. Unsurprisingly, this buyer pulled out. He probably saw his new neighbors laughing at him when he pulled up to look at the property a second time.

Thanks Bill for this one. The property can be found here.

Lets go through this one more time...

2007-09-06T08:20:00.000-07:00

Repetition is the mother of learning, so lets take the "overvalued property makes poor investments" lesson one more time. Our learning objective can be summarized in three simple points:

1. At current valuations, it is not possible to make money from renting property out.
2. The only way to make money is through capital appreciation.
3. If interest rates are expected to rise, property prices will fall.

To illustrate these points, lets take an example of a property from a city that hasn't seen a massive price bubble - Chicago. The property above is located in Lake View, IL and it is currently on the market for $1,279,000. At a 6 percent interest rate, the financing costs are $7,600 per month. Taxes are currently $6,000 per year and likely to go up to $10,000. However, the property has two tenants, giving a combined income of $2,500 per month, with a contract that continues until April next year.

The first point of our lesson is self-evident. A new owner who buys this property will lose at least $5,000 per month if he rents it out. However, can he make money out of the property through capital appreciation? Well, it is very doubtful indeed. The property has been on the market for 84 days, and the owner has already reduced the price from $1,295,000.

We now move to point 3 - future interest rate movements. The Fed has already hiked them 15 times, and most informed commentators expect at least two more hikes. Higher rates mean higher financing costs, lower demand and ultimately lower house prices.

Only a fool would buy this property.

Here ends the lesson. Remember it. Revise it regularly, and if you are tempted to buy, repeat the lesson. Finally, let me set the end-of-term exam and supply a crib sheet.

Question - In a climate of higher expected interest rates, should you buy a property if rental income does not cover the mortgage and financing costs?
Answer - No!

Take the test every time you see a rental property on the market.

Thanks to Ferromancer for this listing. If you would like to provide some additional exam revision, please send overvalued, profitless rental opportunities here.

Cheap and nasty

2007-09-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

We are still looking for America's cheapest listing. Since this is a two-for-one deal at $4,500, it beats our earlier North Dakota posting. This two unit wreck is in Spring Hill, PA.

I'm not sure that the property has a roof, but for $2,250 a piece, the buyer can't expect much. Here is a question, what would be an appropriate rent for the second property. If the rent goes over $21 a month, then the owner can cover his mortgage costs. It would be a case of "buy two, rent one, live for free."

Many thanks to Jeff for this one. The listing can be found here. While it is interesting to see reasonably priced wrecks, perhaps I should get back to the overvalued ones. I have way too much experience of living in houses like the one posted above.

A realtor recommendation

2007-09-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've received a surprising number of suggested postings from long-serving realtors. For example, this one was sent in by a realtor, called Corbin, who hails from California. Corbin is an "old hand", who has been in the business for ten years.

This is how he described the property above:

"Even at the peak of the bubble, this property wasn't worth $800K. The property is much uglier than it looks in the picture (i.e., sides have stucco finish, window AC units, etc.). I've been a real estate broker for 10 years and this is truly the most overpriced home ever on the market (at least below$1.5 million)."

I sense that many realtors are becoming somewhat unnerved by unrealistic valuations, increasing inventory and rising interest rates. Properties, like the one above, tend to undermine other more reasonable valuations. Buyers just look and laugh, and bring their skepticism to the next viewing.

As Corbin suggests, this 4 bedroomed Silver lake (CA) property is on the market for $1.5 million. The write-up describes this wreck as a "charming English country home". Well. I've just been in England and I didn't see anything like this in the Nottinghamshire countryside. Perhaps, I wasn't looking hard enough.

Thanks Corbin for the link, which can be found here. It is much appreciated. If there are any realtors who want to get an overvalued property out of their system, sending in a photo to this blog is cathartic. Relieve yourself of all that pent up guilt.

Winds of change

2007-09-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

This New Jersey house looks like it is just about ready to collapse. It is a waterfront property, proving the point that proximity to liquid is a decisive factor in property valuation. Recognising the parlous state of the building, the owner is probably flipping it just in time to avoid th.e next atlantic storm. One heavy gust of wind, that this wreck will be a heap of wood fragments on a beach Price? The owner is asking for a staggering $1,675,000.

Curbed

2007-09-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

A blogger can steal any material from other blogs so long as he follows two rules; a) he says where you stole it from and b) he provides a link to the original site. I've stolen this photo from curbed. It is on the market for $1.7 million.

Credit card house

2007-09-06T08:10:00.001-07:00

Is it possible to buy a house on your credit card? The answer is yes, so long as you go to North Dakota. This 2 bedroom wreck from Knox (ND) is on the market for just $4,500. That turns out to be a monthly mortgage payment of just $21 dollars per month.

This is definitely a house that I could feel comfortable living in. Does anyone know anything about Knox? For $21 a month it can't be that bad. So goin' out west, and don't you try and stop me!

Thanks to Greg for this one. The details can be found here. I know that this is supposed to be a blog dedicated to overvalued wrecks. However, I would be curious to see if there is a single family home for less than this one.

It is never cold in california

2007-09-06T08:09:00.001-07:00

This Santa Cruz wreck isn't exactly loaded with features; no heating, no garage, no garden and just 322 square feet of living space. However, the realtor was quick to boast that the property had a water connection. And don't be taken in by the misleading realtor listing. It is not a beach hut. It is a couple of blocks away from the seafront.

How muchfor this rotton reject? Way too much. The owner is looking for $675,000.

Thank C.P. for this one. The property is listed on here. Overvalued beach huts are always welcome on this blog. However, we are more interested in huts masquerading as beach huts.

I do like to be beside the seaside

2007-09-05T11:09:00.001-07:00

Americans just can't think straight when it comes to real estate. However, all sanity goes out the window when considering any real estate that might be located near water. It doesn't matter if it is a muddy inlet or a polluted outlet, property prices shoot up when situated near anything holding liquid. Take the C&O canal in Washington DC. There isn't a nastier drain in the country. Go down to the canal at midnight, and the walkways are infested with rats. Yet, people go dizzy at the prospect of owning a house by the canal.

So it is with this property. It is on the market for $24,ooo,ooo. And just how much beachfront will you get for that kind of cash? Just 102 feet or $233,531.19 per foot. The land itself is just one acre.

The property has its own website. View it at your leisure. You will probably need more time to read the site than you will need to walk from one end of this property's beachfront to the other.

Robert sent this one in. Many thanks to one of our most prolific contributors. Is there any similar properties out there?

Man versus machine

2007-09-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

When the architect designed this Long Island wreck, he wasn't exactly thinking of two adults with 2.2 kids. At least half the house is devoted to garage space. Nevertheless, that fact didn't prevent the realtor from describing this wreck as a family home.

The floor plan confirms the rather idiotic design features. Getting to the bathroom looks a rather tight squeeze. The bedroom is also rather odd shape. Moreover, the realtor write up suggests that the house is connected to a cesspool rather than the main sewage system.

This house is currently listed for $219,000, giving a monthly payment of $1,300 at a 6 percent interest rate. Moreover, taxes are just over $300 a month. Meanwhile, the current tenant is paying $750 per month. This house is going to need a lot of price appreciation to justify that price tag.

This wreck was supplied by rooocat, who has an enviable record finding these wrecks. The MLS number for this one is 1798567. It can be found on www.mlsli.com. If there are any similar cesspool enhanced properties out there, you know where to send them.

Sign of the times

2007-09-05T09:11:00.000-07:00

Is this yet another example of realtor contempt for the American homebuying public? Rather than post a photo of the house, the realtors chose to publish a photo of the street sign. If the signpost said Massachusetts Avenue, Washington DC, then perhaps, it would be understandable. But Dean Street, Brooklyn? I don't know about you, but it is not an address that does anything for me.

I also sense that the two realtors responsible for this listing aren't exactly the sharpest around. They had a little trouble with their spelling and grammar. Here is the write-up:

"Three story three family townhouse. Property is 55 Ft deep. Near C train at Ralph Ave Station. also near a beutiful public park. Delivered renovated and vacant. "

Can anyone explain the reference to the depth of the property? Is there a particular advantage to having a 55 foot hole as a family home? Maybe it is one of those end-times real estate opportunities that are normally quite attractive to a certain clientele in Montana. Instead of moving out west, the new owner can stay where the jobs are, and prepare for the apocalypse right in the center of Brooklyn.

Thinking it through, that might explain why the realtors didn't print the photo. You wouldn't want others knowing that you are ready for the big one.

Thanks to Eugene for this one. This property can be found on here. Do we have any other real estate holes out there?

Upwardly mobile

2007-09-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

What is a reasonable price for a trailer home? Personally, I would have put it at somewhere between 5-10k. Truthfully, I don't have much idea, having never aspired to live in a trailer park. However, given current property prices, I may have to revisit that assumption.

This mobile home, advertized on craigslist, is going for $50,000. It is a sign of the times that the current owner suggests that this property could be the first step on the property owning ladder.

But where do we go from here with this crazy bubble? Will we have beggers selling their spots under the freeways as starter homes? Will they list their stolen supermarket trolleys as fixer-uppers?

Many thanks to Allen for sending this one. If you see any homeless people entering the market as sellers, don't be alarmed, it is where we are heading. Let me finish with one photo that somehow says it all for me. It is a picture of the kitchen in this trailer. Haven't you always dreamed of having a kitchen just like that.

Little groom

2007-09-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

Does anyone remember the "Little Groom" reality TV show? It had 4 ft 5 inches Glenn looking for a hot date with similarly vertically disadvantaged women. It was essentially a dwarf version of ABC's "The Bachelor".

We have found just the house for Glenn and his would-be bride. It is a 400 sq. foot cottage in Provencetown, MA. However, it comes with a nasty $600,000 price tag. And to think that some people thought that a dwarf-dating show was exploitative.

Many thanks to Robert for this one. The MLS number is 20510874.

garageland

2007-09-05T09:05:00.000-07:00

Hands up anyone who has a garage bigger than this wreck? As I thought; a forest of hands going up across America.

This one bedroom Redondo bungalow is listed for almost $700,000. The realtor was really scatching around to justify the price. Consider these attractive features:

The living room has a beautiful leaded glass built-in china cabinet.
This home has lots of character that can be enhanced to be the beach home you have always wanted.
The front door has a charming door knock and opening panel.
The kitchen has a newer stove and lots of bead board cabinets.
Outside has a separate building for the laundry room.

It is the charming door knock that makes me want to go out and blow 700k, although I was quite tempteed by the china cabinet.

This one was sent in by Roy. The MLS number is P915836. If you know of any overvalued door knocks or china cabinets in your neighborhood, then send them in here.

Which investment would you choose?

2007-09-05T09:01:00.000-07:00

Recently, I received information about two exciting investment opportunities, and I can't decide which one to go for. Help me out here, people. Which one will make me richer quicker?

Option one - Rental properties in Oak View California.

Here are some quality rentals from Oak View (CA). Currently, this property offers three rental properties, each offering $1,600 rental income per month. The owner wants $1,500,000. What is the financing cost for this kind of cash? $9,500 per month. So the rental avenue looks a little shakey. Still, massive 50 percent per year asset appreciation should deal with that objection. Alternatively, I could think big. Teardown and build. I'll build 10 condos at $500,000 each and retire at early next year.

Option Two - Help Mr. Ahmed.

I just received the following email from a Gentleman in Africa.

Attn: Please,I am Mr Aja Ahmed, from Cote-Ivory Abijan. Presently residing in Dakar-Senegal because of the political crisis in my Country.I got your contact in strict confidence through Senegal Chamber of Commerce.

I would Honestly want to seek for an immediate assistance from you, I have $12.5 Million US dollars belonging to my late Father Mr Musa Ahmed,who was held bondage by the Rebels during the crisis and was letter killed.I ran to Senegal refugee Camp when I Discovered danger to my life and that of my only sister.

My late father has deposited the above mentionedAmount in a consignment with a FINANCE FIRM for safe keeping before his death and i have every Documents regards the transaction. I have contacted the FINANCE FIRM and confirmed the safety of the money/ inheritance.

As it is, I have the intention of investing the money oversees and however needed a Foreigner who is capable of giving adequate assistanceto me by the way of clearing the money from the FINANCE FIRM and the reafter forwarding it to your Account for investments.I have map out 35% percentage of the fund for you.

If Necessary,Please do feel free to ask me questions on this as I wait for your reply soonest.

Thanks.Mr Aja Ahmed.
(ps - The spelling and grammatical errors were faithfully reproduced from the original)

I have already contacted Mr. Ahmed. He has asked me to deposit $50,000 in a numbered account in Switzerland. Apparently, he needs that kind of cash to facilitate the money transfer.

I'm sure that you will agree, it is a tough choice.

Many thanks to Robert, who is one of our most regular and long-standing contributors. In contrast, this is Aja's first contribution. Do you think we will receive further investment opportunities from him in the near future? The MLS number for the CA property is 504428 and it can be found on www.realtor.com.

The end is nigh

2007-09-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

This kind of listing means only one thing - the end of the bubble. This Queens, New York owner has either a) run out of money, or b) fears that the final sale will be insufficient to cover the renovation costs. What ever the underlying reason for this distressed listing, it smacks of desperation.

Although the owner may be desperate, he still needs to go to the medicine cabinet and take a spoonful of foul tasting liquid from the bottle labeled reality. The property is on the market for almost a million dollars. Given the current market, only a fool would buy a property in this condition. As we all know, New York tends to come up short in that category of people.

Thanks Fabienne for the listing. The MLS Number is 1790836. Are there any desperate owners trying to off-load half finished renovations in your neighborhood? If so, we need to know.

Is this the smallest?

2007-09-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

Could this be the smallest listing in America? At just 240 sq. ft. this Manatee, FL wreck is going to be hard to beat. The realtor write-up exhorts us to "grab a bargain" but warns us that the wreck needs a "fix-up". Read the small print and we find out that the wreck is a mobile home. Given the asking price of $65,000, it is also probably the most overvalued trailer in the USA.

Thanks Becky for sending in this one. The MLS number is 518513.

Nice

2007-09-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

Here is another crack house classic - this time, from the middle of the notorious "Iron Triangle". In other words, Richmond CA. The write up for this $425,000 wreck contains just 16 words. The realtor manages to squeese in the word "nice" three times.

"The Lady protests too much, methinks"

Thanks Krondor for this one. The MLS on Ziprealty is 40145061. Crackhouses are always popular on this blog.

Voodoo magic

2007-09-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

Real estate selling is a dark art. Take this Cambridge (MA) wreck for example. Originally, it was built as a workers hovel in 1848. Since then, it has acquired water, electricity and a telephone line. Apart from that, it is broadly unchanged. It is still only 800 sq. ft. It has the same number of windows and doors. It was a hovel in 1848 and it is a hovel now. Fundamentally, nothing has changed. So why does the realtor write-up say that in 2006 this wreck is worth nearly half a million dollars? Answer? Black magic.

The real estate industry has cast a spell over America. With occult-like incantations such as "property is a great investment", and "we'll find you a dream home", America has started to believe that houses are like some golden goose that lays 21 carat eggs. We need to see the light, and step away from the dark side. What is the truth here? This house is worthless.

Thanks William for this one. The MLS number is 70349722. It can be found on www.realtor.com.

Fancy living in the middle of nowhere?

2007-09-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

It was inevitable that this bubble would get so far out of control that people would start offering desert wasteland for sale. This 10 acre Palmdale (CA) plot is listed on craigslist for $95,000. For those out there who still doubt that there is a bubble, this posting should be the one that finally convinces you. And if you are thinking of buying this property, say this word out loud - "water?".

Thanks Mark for the listing. Can anyone out there beat this?

They are getting smaller

2007-09-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

This Maplewood (MN) house is so small, it's actually hard to spot during a drive-by unless you're paying attention. It is only 328 square feet!

However, this is a case where size really does matter. Last year the owner listed this wreck for $199,000. Of course no one bit, so he relisted and offered it for $111,900. Still no takers, so now he's asking $106,000.

This wreck was originally a one-room cabin built in 1900, located on the shore of a lake in a neighboring town. Sometime during the 1940s, it was moved to its current location, so it is really an RV without the wheels. It acquired a stucco exterior and a few interior walls to divide it into one bedroom, one bath, kitchen, and living room. It has essentially NO insulation, which kind of matters, given the mild Minnesota winters.

Many thanks to Mark for the photo. Mark also helped me with the write up. The MLS number is 3149943. It can be found on www.edinarealty.com. This is going to be a tough one to beat.

Holidays in the sun

2007-09-05T08:50:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't a Cuban holiday camp run by Uncle Sam for disaffected foreigners. This is an Oakland wreck currently listed for $450,000. The realtor points out that the property is surrounded by a secure fence; something in common with our detention facility in the Carribbean. Somehow, I'm not sure that is where the similarities end......

Thanks Lois for yet another great wreck. The MLS number is 40130884. It can be found on www.calhomefinder.com.

Wrecks from Chicago

2007-09-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

Isn't about time we saw some wrecks from our great city of the north - Chicago? Well, here is a start. This house has more bathrooms (3) than bedrooms (2). Morever, the house sits somewhat uneasily with its neighbors.

Thanks Cheryl for this one. It is a good start, but we need to see more. The MLS number is 06025144 and it can be found on Realtor.com. So let us see what you've got, Chicago.

Back to the million dollar slums

2007-09-05T08:47:00.000-07:00

It time for this blog to go upmarket. Lets forget about the $500,000 wrecks in Oakbland and think about a quieter life in Newport Beach, California.

The realtor claims that this house "exudes charm" and "retains antique features". So what will it cost to live in this modest 3 bedroom 766 sq.ft bungalow? There is nothing antique about the price. Modesty in Newport Beach is currently priced at $2 million.

Thanks Roy for this one. The MLS number is U6600100. We are always keen to lift the content of this blog.

Cold war realty

2007-09-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

The cold war might have ended 15 years ago, but the news didn't get to the owner of this El Sobrante (CA) house. He has been living in the bunker with his canned beef and UHT milk.

Thankfully, the owner has just heard that the Soviet Union has collapsed. Back here at ground level, America is enjoying a housing bubble. Time to call the realtor, who tells this nuclear Rip Van Winkle that his apocalyptic contingency arrangement is worth $475,000.

Although the photo might suggest otherwise, the bunker is occupied. The realtor reckons that it is ready for teardown. However, it might take more than a bulldozer to shift this concrete monstrosity. It was designed to withstand a Soviet nuclear strike.

Thanks Lois for a classic American wreak. The MLS number is 40135777. It can be found on www.calhomefinder.com. Are there any nuclear bombshelters masquerading as housing in your neighborhood?

Show and sell

2007-09-05T08:43:00.000-07:00

In general, realtors show a remarkable ability to ignore obvious contradictions when they put together their write-ups. Take this Oakland wreck for example. It measures just 744 sq.ft. However, the realtor points out that it has a large basement that is "Ideal for a large family."

Presumably, that brown door is the entrance to the basement. Does it remind of you of "silence of the lambs"? Jodie, where are you? We might need you to check out this one.

Can anyone explain this passage in the write-up? "Buyer to verify 3rd bedroom, many small room". Apart from the fact that the sentence is grammatically deficient, it seems to suggest that the realtor and the seller can't agree whether one of the rooms is, in fact, bedroom. So how would that conversation go:

Realtor: "Sir, I really don't think that we can consider this as a room, it is a cupboard"
Seller: "No it is not. You can easily sleep a child in there"
Realtor: "Only if the child could sleep standing up. Perhaps, we should leave it to the buyer to decide whether it is a bedroom or not".

And what of the price? This "highly motivated seller is looking for $419,000. This one was sent in by Lois. Many thanks. The MLS number is 40134784. It can be found on www.calhomefinder.com

Say hello to Dan the Man.

2007-09-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

Isabat, who sent this one in, says that this is the ugliest house in Harlem. It seems a reasonable enough claim to me. Its on the market for a nasty price - $1,250,000. However, it is proving a tough wreck to shift. The "motivated"seller has already cut the price.

This sounds like a job for Dan Danielli, New York's superstar realtor. He had recently taken this wreck under his tender wing. Here is what Dan had to say for himself.

"When a broker’s achievements exceed his seller’s expectations, the word spreads quickly: Dan Danielli has blazed an impressive trail through Manhattan’s luxury homes market. Having closed nearly a half-billion dollars worth of residential sales during his career, Mr. Danielli came to the Halstead Property Company after having been a top-producing broker at 3 premiere Manhattan real estate firms – most recently at William B. May Company, where he made their quarterly “Top Five Brokers” list 8 times since 2000 – including 4 times in the No. 1 spot, and received their Big Apple Award for outstanding sales achievement. Within 3 months of joining Halstead, he sold a $5,600,000 Townhouse and was appointed to Halstead’s Platinum Circle and Producer’s Council.

Many celebrities – particularly from the Classical Music world – have sold (or purchased) properties through Mr. Danielli, including tenor Placido Domingo, concert pianists Evgeny Kissin, Alicia de Larrocha and Eugene Istomin, violinists Pinchas Zukerman and Kyung-Wha Chung, cellist Mstislav Rostropovich, guitarist Sharon Isbin, and pop-star Roger Waters (Pink Floyd). Other notable clients include film actress Tuesday Weld, ABC News analyst George Stephanopoulos, painter Peter Max, Microsoft (Japan) President Kazuhiko Nishi, Barnes & Nobel President Michael Berry, hedge-fund giant Cliff Asness, and Metropolitan Opera General Manager Peter Gelb."

Mr. Danielli has a very nice website. Please check it out, it is sooooooooooo interesting, that it makes me want to go out and buy one of his listings. Naturally, Dan goes straight into the Overvalued realtors Hall of Fame. Make sure it goes on the resume Dan.

Thanks, Isabat for this one. If you have any nominations for the Hall of Fame, please send them. The listing number on the house is 1071987. It can be found on www.halstead.com

Fancy a swim?

2007-09-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

Normally, I don't like to post two pictures for any house. However, I couldn't choose between these two pictures. The first gives a better flavor to the true state of this Haupauge, NY house. But the first one doesn't include the swimming pool, which is a must-see feature. Just imagine a nice cool dip into that beautiful forest green pool on a hot august afternoon. The algae will do wonders for your complexion. The pool alone justifies the $525,000 price tag. Incidentally, do you think anything slimey might be living in the pool?

Many thanks to roocat for this one. She has a feline sense for sniffing out crap houses in upstate New York. Keep up the great work. The MLS number for this wonderhouse is 1803344. It can be found on www.mlsli.com. Can anyone find a "nicer pool"?

Pretty in pink

2007-09-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

Ma, I painted the house pink".

It is the iron rule of housing wrecks, the brighter the outside paint work, the more terrible the house. So it is with this 2 bedroomed San Mateo slum. The owner is looking for $725,000. If he bought a can of white paint, he could easily ask for $1,250,000.

Thanks Jessy for this one. The MLS number is 611734. It can be found on www.mlslistings.com.

Is this the smallest listing in America?

2007-09-05T08:37:00.000-07:00

At $60,000, this St. Pauls (MN) wreck is one of the more affordable houses appearing on this blog. However, it is just 498 sq. ft., making it the smallest property to appear on the blog so far. As always, we can rely on the realtor write-up to provide a preposterous description - "Handyman special. Buy today and start building equity. Great investment. Sells AS-IS".

Thanks Mark for the listing. The MLS is 3127927. Can we find anything smaller?

Chained to the kitchen

2007-09-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

I have this fantasy. I go to an open house in DC and the realtor leads me to a kitchen like this one. From my backpocket I pull out a small sledgehammer. With one overhead swing, I break the counter top into a thousand pieces, and then follow up with a shattering blow to the stainless steel fridge. Then the cupboards go, followed by the sink and the stove. Within thirty seconds, the kitchen is reduced to a mass of granite, wood splinters, and crumpled metal. Then I turn to the realtor and say "look at what you made me do".

This particular granite coated kitchen comes from a $1,150,000 Boston condo advertized on Craigslist. The realtor - Kelly Dimbat - claims that it is this is "one of the nicest renovations I have ever seen." I bet you say that to all the buyers.

Kelly, you are messin' with us; you made that Dimbat surname up didn't you. It is some kind of perverse joke you are having with your realtor friends.

This kitchen, or should I say, condo was sent in by Susan. She had some interesting background information on this property. The entire house sold for $1.5 million in 2005. Put in a little granite into the kitchen, paint the walls and one year later, 3 units are for sale totalling $3.1 million. Many thanks Susan for the link. I believe it is the first posting from Boston. If you have any kitchen smashing fantasies, let us know about them.

Train approaching platform 1

2007-09-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

"I hear that train-a-rolling; its coming down the tracks". This cottage that is actually in the railroad station. Its the old ticket booth. It is right next to the stairs where people walk up to catch the train. People will be parking and walking outside your bedroom window starting at 3:30am. However, there doesn't seem to be any railroad lovers out there. This house originally was priced at $439k now its down to a bargain $339k.

This one was sent into rooocat, who also helped me with the comments. Many thanks. The MLS number is 1741585. The property can be found on www.mlsli.com

Small is beautiful in Studio city

2007-09-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

Here is another one of those tiny overpriced Californian wrecks. This studio house in Studio city is listed for $550,000. For that, you get one bedroom, one bathroom and 636 sq. ft. As the picture suggests, it comes with a "charming" 2ft by 3 ft front garden. However, the new owner will face some tough trade-offs. Does he cut back that wonderful bush, or does he go for some sunlight from the window. Sunlight or bush? What would you choose?

Remember, if you buy it, you live in it. The plot is only 0.04 acres and any attempt to tear down the property and build a new house will run into considerable planning permit difficulties.

This one came from Kevin, who's occupation begins with the letter "R". Good luck with the downturn, Kevin. Remember the old 20-80 rule. Real estate sales is about survival of the fittest. Most of those newcomers will looking for counter sales jobs down in Macys within a year.

The MLS is R2015981. We always like to see ridiculously small houses on this blog.

The queen of realtors

2007-09-05T08:31:00.000-07:00

Ivanna Trump has a dream. She wants to put up the tallest habitable structure in Las Vegas - the Ivana Supertower. With 80 stories reaching 923 feet, the project looks like one giant lipstick case. The building will be capped by a 20,000 sq. ft penthouse with a $35 million price tag. Mmmmm, that doesn't sound overpriced.

Australian developer Victor Altomare launched the project with the motto "In Vegas, Size Matters" - a vulgar start to a tasteless project. For her part, Ivana said "real estate is a good bet for anyone. I always felt very secure and very safe with real estate. Real estate always appreciates". If she was a Wall Street investment advisor, the SEC would have nailed her dainty little feet to the floorboards for saying that. However, realtors can mislead investors with impunity in this country.

But what of Ivanna, the realtor for this project? According to her booking agency, Ivana "is a perfect example of professionalism, motherhood and ambition. She believes that hard work and faith can get you anywhere. Ivana Trump is the ultimate symbol of strength, glamour and worldliness. She has been in the spotlight for over 20 years and has always held her ground. From her athletic competitions as a child to her business ventures today, Ivana always comes out ahead. " That is funny enough by itself. I've nothing to add to that.

But will the Ivana ever be built? The market in Vegas is already bloated with overpriced empty condos. In reality, the project is about two years too late. Indeed, size does matter when it comes investing poorly conceived, miss-timed and badly marketed real estate projects. Big white elephants leave a lot of red ink on the balance sheet.

Family home

2007-09-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

This property is listed as a family home on E 14th Street, Los Angeles. Anything thinking of taking the kids to live here? Asking price? $450,000. Can anyone actually make out a house in this photo? All I can see is an iron fence and a window with bars.

The MLS on this one is 06-011017. It can be found on www.realtor.com.

Tree house

2007-09-04T12:09:00.000-07:00

Make sure you bring a machete when you visit this Huntington, NY house. Otherwise, you might not get into see the "exciting interior". The realtor describes this wreck as a four-roomed cottage. It is on the market for $420,000. Given the extensive obstruction to the door, there can't have been too many people who have viewed it. Therefore, you won't have to worry about competition when you put in a bid.

I can't remember who sent this one in. It was either Maria or Rooocat. But since you are both great at finding these wrecks, I will thank you both anyway. The MLS on this one is 1757190. It can be found on www.mlsli.com.

Mud pool garage

2007-09-04T12:08:00.001-07:00

Before you ask, this is not a house, its a garage in Warwick, Rhode Island. Moreover, it is listed for $750,000. However, don't get too excited by the waterfront description from the realtor. This is not an ocean front, it lies on a muddy inland water way. Historically, this location contained the poorest housing in the area.

Unpeturbed by this dubious past, the realtor describes the property as a "diamond in the rough" with the "potential to create a dream home". The write-up also suggests that prospective buyers should bring "imagination" with them when they go to a viewing. This is realtor-speak for "this is a hell-hole".

Despite its grubby location, we will try to accentuate the positive. It has electricity and a stove. However, there is no connection to the main sewage system. The new owner will have to deal with a septic tank and all that involves - oh merde!

Thanks Marie for second shocking example of the Rhode Island housing bubble. The MLS number is 556624 and it can be found on riliving.com.

Great rental investment

2007-09-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

Contrary to appearances, this is not an abandoned property. This is a two-unit rental property and both units have tenants - each paying $850 per month. I'm impressed! Still, the price is a little high - $330,000. The combined rents would not quite cover the financing costs and local taxes. A potential investor would still be better off keeping their money down at the local bank.

The property is in Lake Worth, Florida. The MLS number is 2562315. Thanks Michael for this one. Anything similar out there?

Oh no, not this one again...

2007-09-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is this one again. The owner has been posting this wreck for weeks on craigslist, vainly hoping that there is someone out there who wants give away all their money and take a vow of poverty. However, LA ran out of those people around October last year, just as the bubble reached the peak.

So what does the write-up say about the blue house? Apparently, it is "charming" with "great curb appeal". Morever, at $535,000 it is a "great investment". None of this seems apparent from the photo, but it must be one of those "you have to be there to see it" experiences.

Welcome to realtorworld

2007-09-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

In Orlando, "downtown is looking up". The old Holiday Inn is currently being converted into the Lexington Condo Complex.

While the developer's website flashes the words "luxury, sophistication and style", downtown Orlando flashes back "crack, crime and urban decay". Virtual people are seen walking into the lobby. However, these virtual condo-owners don't have to negotiate with the crackheads and carjackers outside. Their human counterparts will need to find a modus vivendi with their less fortunate neighbors.

So how much does one of these "luxury" condos cost? Currently, the developers are offering one bedroom apartments for $310,000. However, that is not as much as they cost last month, but it is more than they will cost next month. The Florida condo market is in deep trouble, and the developers have far too many units to shift. This project is a long way from completion, while the condo-flippers have flapped off.

The MLS number is F694048. This blog has unjustifiably neglected the overvalued condo conversion market.

Do anything you wanna do.

2007-09-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

Where is the house, Mr. Crash? Sorry folks, there is no house with this one; just a vacant lot in Harlem. There is no flaky construction, nor shagged out garden. Just an empty feeling inside that some dagbo out there is about to waste $670,000.

The realtor write-up contains the usual implausible rubbish "Here’s the vacant lot! Build your own Harlem home …from the ground up … exactly the way you want it!Ultra modern 5 story with open floor plan?A classic high stoop brownstone, just like the one to the left and right of the lot? Owner’s triplex with roof deck & 2 bedroom rental?You decide!". Personally, I would build a million condos and sell them for a zillion each. "What do you think, Mr. Mayor Bloomberg? Can I do anything I wanna do?"

Thanks Isabat for the link. It can be found on here.

Are you lonesome tonight?

2007-09-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

This is the last lonely outpost on the road to nowhere. All those dreams of owning your own home have come down to this wreck on the side of a highway. This Santa Cruz house is on the market for just over $1 million and what are you getting for your money? Asphalt - lots of it.

I know I should tell you about the rooms and the floor space. But, I just can't do it. I am tired, people. The energy has gone. This housing bubble is a "tale told by an idiot; full of sound and fury, signifying nothing".

Many thanks to C.P. for this one. The MLS number is 95062.

High ceilings, no floorspace

2007-09-04T11:42:00.000-07:00

This house is so small that you could easily miss it while walking down East 3rd Street in New York. The house is just 20 ft. wide by 38 ft long. Most people have bedrooms bigger than this house.

The realtor write up says that this wreck has "high ceilings". It is hard to reconcile that claim with the photo. Perhaps it is that realtor-speak for "this house has no roof". Indeed, there is no more beautiful ceiling than a starry night. In contrast, the write-up provides no information about the number of bedrooms. One can only assume that there are none. And the price for this little bijou? $550,000.

Thanks Anonymous for sending in the link. The property is listed on frederickpalmer.com. Thanks also for the numerous comments that you leave on this blog. Anonymous, you are our most prolific contributor. Keep up the good work.

Here is this week's competition - can anyone find a smaller house than the one on East 3rd Street.

Another million dollar slum

2007-09-04T11:41:00.000-07:00

This Santa Cruz wreck is on the market for $1.3 million. Assuming that it sells at that price, then the realtor will earn a $78,000 commission. One would think that for that price the owner deserved a decent photo of the house. Instead, the realtor posts this contemptuously cropped picture. The realtor couldn't even be bothered to remove their car from the shot. He probably raced around during his lunch hour, jumped out of the car with the digital camera, and snapped the shots in less time than it takes to say "cute starter; needs TLC".

So what will the new owner of this wreck get for their money? Three bedrooms, two bathrooms and an ugly overgrown garden measuring just half an acre.

Thanks C.P. for the link. The MLS number is 559684 and it can be found on www.baileyproperties.com. Is there anything else like this out there? I wish there wasn't, but I know better.

Say hello to the Rhode Island bubble

2007-09-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

This is a first for the overvalued blog - a nasty one bedroom wreck from Rhode Island. This garden shed in Weekapaug is on the market for $950,000.

The write-up claims that the property is "very affordable". Assuming that the new owner takes out a no-money-down, 30 year fixed mortgage at 6.5 percent, the monthly payment including taxes will be a few dollars short of $6,500. Over a year, housing costs comes to $78,000 per year. The median income in America is $58,000 per year. That means that half of the population could not afford this house even if they i) did not eat, ii) use utilities and iii) received an annual gratuity of $20,000 from their financially naive grandmother.

Thank you Marie for this one. The MLS number is 635363.

Seven things you can do to bring property prices down.

2007-09-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

1. Fire your realtor – There is nothing like “thank you, but I don’t need you” to wake up realtors to the new post-bubble reality. Remember, your realtor is not your friend. A realtor will always see you as just another commission.

2. Don’t visit open houses - Don’t give sellers the false impression that there is a active market out there for overvalued, miss-priced houses.

3. Instead, go to as many Condo launch parties as you can - Never refuse a free meal. Eat and drink at the expense of property developers. And make sure you take a doggy bag – it all adds to the overheads of property developers.

4. Ask the seller to rent rather than buy the property. It has never been a better to time to rent. The ratio of house rents to property prices are at an all time low. Furthermore, if you ask the seller to rent rather than buy, you undermine confidence in their ability to sell. It’s a win-win for you.

5. Make lowball offers – A great market destabiliser; if the seller is asking for $800,000 then offer him $400,000.

6. If lowball offers are accepted, make unreasonable contractual demands– Ask the seller to include contingencies and inspections in the contract. Ask him to pay the points on your mortgage; ask him for a plasma TV and cash back; demand that he walks the dog and tie your shoelaces for you. Ultimately, this is a get-out tactic. After all, buying is the last thing anyone should do in a crashing market.

7. Above all - don’t buy, wait– Here is some free advice – buying a house today will make you much poorer.

Impossible dreams

2007-09-04T11:38:00.001-07:00

The realtor write-up on this Corona (NY) wreck declares "fulfill Your Impossible Dream! Come And See!!!" This is just the kind of contradictory rubbish that makes me doubt the intellectual capacity of the average realtor. If a dream is impossible, it can not be fulfilled. Therefore, there is nothing to "come and see".

More seriously, did any of us ever dream of living in a place like this? When you were young, did your thoughts happily drift off to a faraway land of small badly constructed houses in a distant suburb of an anonymous city? Me neither. Instead, I dreamt of fast cars and easy women.

Of course, life is a catalogue of broken promises. Inevitably the vast majority of us end up in houses like the one in the picture. However, paying $660,000 just to be a failure seems harsh. There has to be a cheaper way to live out a life full of underachievement, misery and disappointment.

Thanks to Cynthia for this one. Keep them coming C. The MLS number is 1775692.

Bring your hammer

2007-09-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

Can someone explain this to me? How can an owner let a house deteriorate into an uninhabitable wreck and then wake up one day and think that it is worth $400,000?

The realtor advises that the new owner should "bring a hammer" for this handyman special. Just a hammer? A bulldozer would be more useful. The write-up also boasts that the house offers "complete privacy". The new owner will definitely need the seclusion. He will be too embarrassed to show his face when his friends find out he paid four hundrend thousand bucks for this PoS.

The house is located in Wading River, New York. The MLS number is 1799996. It can be found on the www.mlslirealtor.com website. The virtual tour is definitely worth a look. The picture above, which is the back of the house, is definitely the most attractive feature.

Thanks rooocat for another terrible example of an over-inflated New York house.

Wake up and smell the coffee

2007-09-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Connie Blumenthal is our first inductee to the Overvalued Realtor Hall of Fame. "For this lifelong Seattle resident, there’s no need for an extra shot of espresso to get her moving in the morning. She’s awake and ready to go as the first rays of sunlight reflect off Puget Sound. Driving to work, Connie looks to the white snow-capped mountains and then over to the Sound, where the ferry is making its way across the still waters, and is reminded of how fortunate she is to live in an area as dynamic as Seattle. “Every day is a great day when you’re surrounded with natural beauty, friendly people—and great coffee!” she says with a smile." At least that is what she says on her website.

Connie invites her clients to "wake up and smell the coffee". Her clients certainly smell something, but it doesn't come from anything roasted and grounded. Connie recently told one of her clients that "Now is always the best time to buy" so long as you are buying from her. Moreover, “real estate is the best investment you can have…you had better move now, or you will pay more next year”.

Connie is not slow to claim credit for the success of Seattle. According to her website, she makes it a "great day in Seattle". Of course, everyone in Seattle agrees with that sentiment.

Congratulations Connie, just make sure that your induction figures prominently on your action packed CV.

If you would like to nominate a worthy realtor into the Overvalued Hall of Fame, please send details and reasons. Remember, only the most overvalued realtors can gain admittance to this august body.

FEMA, where are you?

2007-09-04T11:32:00.001-07:00

This is a house that FEMA forgot to tear down after the last hurricane hit Palm Springs, Florida. Instead, some enterprising realtor thought that they could list it for $310,000. Is there anyone out there, who would like to finish the job that the weather started?

Thanks, Michael for this one. The MLS number is 2611343.

House of Horrors

2007-09-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

The write-up on this wreck tells us that this Outer Sunset (CA) house is needs everything and is "suffering from deferred maintenance". Well, this morning I got out of the DC metro and saw a homeless guy asking for money. So I went over to him and said "sir, you seem to be suffering from deferred consumption of food. Take this 25 cents as a downpayment on your next meal" He looked at me strangely, and suggested that I go forth and multiply. Moreover, he claimed that I was having sexual relations with my mother.

The write-up also says that this house "has some nice features". Presumably, that does not include the current tenant. Here, the write-up is very explicit. It warns potential buyers "do not disturb" the current occupant, who is a trustee. So for $600,000, the current owner is offering a rancid wreck with a grumpy tenant thrown in for free. What more could you want?

This one was sent in by Govno. The MLS number is 302190 and you can find it on www.ziprealty.com.

My one is bigger than yours.

2007-09-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm, this one doesn't look too shabby; lake side house, personal boat boat house and mooring, 6 bathrooms, 14,000 square feet, and it is in Florida too. Only a $12 million price tag. So what's the problem here, Mr. Housing Crash? Let us travel back in time to April 2003. Back then, the current owner bought this pile for just $4 million. That's right, this joker is trying to turn a 200 percent profit in three years.

Of course, trying and succeeding are two very different things. No one seems interested in biting on that $12 million price tag. The property has been on the market for over a year. This leads us to a question - why hasn't he reduced the price?

Friends - this is a prestige price Down at the Yacht club, this Joker can mouth off about his $12 million property up by the lake. He can pull out the realtor flyer out of his back pocket and show all his sad mates about just how much real estate equity he has stored up. Like so much of this bubble, wishing thinking wins over cold hard reality every time.

By the way, we have someone on the other side working for us. This one was sent by the mysterious Mr. X - a realtor. Your secret is safe with me, Mr. X. Just keep the information coming.

Finally, New York logs on.

2007-09-04T11:28:00.002-07:00

It looks like we might have cracked New York. Someone called "rooocat" has just sent in some listings. Brace yourselves, there are some rough postings ahead. We will be seeing a lot of New York real estate crap in the coming days.

First up is this one from Haelsite. The write up describes it as a ranch. However, I'm not sure which building you are supposed to live in; is it the one on the left or the right? Happily, I can report that it has a stove. Unfortunately, I can not say the same for a dining room. So when you cook your meal, you take it into the bedroom and eat it sitting on the bed. Don't be proud, you ate like that when you were at college.

Price? $389,000 while taxes are $3,112.87. Further details can be found on http://www.mlsli.com. The MLS number is 1760141. Thanks rooocat, keep them coming.

Where is my lottery ticket?

2007-09-04T11:28:00.001-07:00

Imagine you are owner of this PoS in Culver City, CA. You are is sitting at home, supping on can of beer, and watching the infomercials. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. You answer the door, and you are greeted by a sharp suited realtor with a cheesey smile. "hey, sir, did you know that your house is worth $740,000? and if you list with Crackhouse Realty we will get you that price in no time at all".

Unfortunately, you are still waiting for that check to arrive in the post. This listing has been on the market for the best part of a year. Meanwhile the market for high range slums has just dried up. If only the realtor had called you six months earlier. Sadly, the only get-rich-quick option left open is the lottery. So take that last lonely dollar out of your pocket and head down to the Seven-Eleven.

Many thanks to Tamra for this one. The MLS number is 05-029011.

Lets get back to the land.

2007-09-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

You always know when a realtor is pushing a PoS by the photo. If realtor sent out the blind guy with the camera, then you know they are trying to hide something. Here we have $54 million horse farm in California. However, it is not clear whether we are looking at the stables or the house.

The owner is offering 452 acres, of which around 200 is flat, usable land. The financing costs alone would take up $4.1 million a year (assuming a 6.5 percent interest rate). That means that this farm needs to generate at least $20,000 per acre just to cover the payments to the bank. So it is hard to see how you can make any sense out of this investment. Unless, that is, you buy it because it puts you deep into the red ink. A $4.1 million loss is one hell of a tax deduction.

Ultimately, I suspect that this PoS is joke played on ordinary Americans. While we are coughing up to the Fed, some rich guy is using this farm to avoid his taxes. Nevertheless, I would be happy to hear from any tax specialists. Perhaps, you can make sense of it.

Thanks Robert for this one. The MLS number is 109614 and it can be found on www.realty.com.

Realtor recommendations.

2007-09-04T11:25:00.001-07:00

"Honey, I'm going down to the mall, do you need anything"
"Yes, could you call into the real estate shopping lady and pick up a few overpriced condos for me"

Let's go real estate shopping with Gwen the hat lady. I'm finding it hard to refuse that invitation. Gwen promises to "bring an exciting, cheerful and fun process to your real estate experience." Fun? The last time I tried to buy a house I needed to be medicated for six months.

Gwen has a must-see website. Apart from selling real estate, she offers restaurant recommendations and the addresses of local theaters. She also has a link to a page "Why use Gwen". However, the page is blank. Perhaps the hat is recommendation enough.

This site doesn't have nearly enough realtor recommendations. The National Association of Realtors regularly give out awards to local realtors. Well, I am starting my own competition. So if you would like to nominate your favorite realtor, send the details

Hippy housing

2007-09-04T11:24:00.001-07:00

It is 1968 and the perfect time to be in San Francisco, smoke strange herbs from the east, and paint your house yellow. However, the times kept a changin', but it left the hippy owners of this PoS stuck in the summer of love. Six days ago, the owners emerged from the blue haze and found the housing bubble. They quickly accelerate to 2006 by phoning a local realtor who lists their house for $700,000.

It is definitely worth checking out the additional photos on www.ziprealty.com listing for this property. The MLS number is 302131. The interior is very rough. Moreover, it is much smaller than the exterior suggests. It has only one bedroom, one bath and an unfinished basement.

Spare a thought for the rich...

2007-09-04T10:28:00.002-07:00

It isn't just us po' folks that have to deal with grasping and rapacious small-time property speculators, the rich seem to have similar problems. Take this $50 million Del Mar property, for example. The plot is just 0.95 acres. Perhaps this is America's most expensive house in terms of plot size.

Here is a couple of questions to throw out for discussion. This property has 6 bedrooms, yet it has 9.5 bathrooms. Do the rich have more bladder control problems than the rest of the population? Or were the architects playing a joke on the owners of this high range PoS. "How many bathrooms can we fit into one acre? Lets go for 9.5 and see if they buy it".

Many thanks for John for this unusual but worthy recommendation. Incidentally, I doubt if my entire lifetime earnings would be sufficient to meet one months mortgage payment on this property. The MLS number is 051048392.You can find it on www.realtor.com.

What? No PoS in Boston and New York? That can't be right!

2007-09-04T10:28:00.001-07:00

Here is a something wierd. This blog has posted plenty of nasty overvalued properties from California, Florida and Washington DC. However, we have seen very little from New York and nothing from Boston. Yet we all know that both these cities are bursting with overpriced crappy housing. So come on New Yorkers and Bostonians, show us what you have. Better out than in, that is what I say.

We are going to get the ball rolling with this one. Patrick from New York sent this one to me. It is a $2.4 million cinder box situated just one block from a prison. It was recently advertized in the New York Times. In truth, I don't like posting properties without MLS numbers or verifiable ads. However, I am going to take a chance on this one.

What is a "cute Spanish"?

2007-09-04T10:27:00.001-07:00

At first, I thought that this was a disused Ice cream stand. But I was deceived. Apparently, the owner claims that it is a house in LA. The Craigslist advert describes this thing as a "cute Spanish", to which I ask "a cute Spanish what?". The ad also claims that this "cute Spanish" has a great view. I would rather stare at a brick wall all day than live in this PoS.

How much is it? The owner is asking $365,000.

Come out of the closet

2007-09-04T10:26:00.001-07:00

At just 375 sq. ft. this is possibly the smallest house listed so far. However, it has a big price tag. The owner wants $389,000. The Craigslist advert states that this LA property has one bedroom with a closet. A more truthful statement would be a "closet sized bedroom".

The advert describes the property as having "lots of upside potential". How many times have we heard that clapped out realtor phrase. Moreover, lets not get into a sterile discussion about the price reflecting the "re-development potential of the land". The price tag still looks way too high for a plot of dust in a no-name LA suburb.

They even try to rip you off in a swamp...

2007-09-04T10:25:00.001-07:00

This is the cheapest property posted so far, yet it seems the most overvalued. What is this? It is a shack in the Florida swamp. For $40,000, you can leave it all behind, and live amongst the watery wildlife. Hungry crocs will be your only worry.

The write-up for this PoS is a work of art. It describes the property as a "home with a cheerful air". Moreover, the property is "smart" and "rewarding". Nevertheless, the monthly mortgage payment is really quite reasonable at $200 per month.

For those who think I make this stuff up, the MLS number is 339491. It can be found on www.realty.com. Many thanks to Jason for finding this cracker.